Where you've been in the path of consciousness?Probably you are never been good or never been bad. But one thing is certain, you have walked all walks of life.
Today is the first day of yet another chapter of my solitary existence. You can say, your's is far greater than mine. More colorful, more lively, more ..ahh sometimes i'm at a lost of all perfect words to describe life as seen by you. But then, you can't have all that beauty in you, i have mine too. Far greater. And different. Yes, that's how it was.
Burst of sunlight flooded my pale face, my eyes...the sun soothe it, touch it with mother's warmth. The soft rays tried to open my dry lips to stretch into a smile.
It was split second but the pain seemed like eternity. But the smile, it was good, so awfully good.
In every smile i gave, in every pain and hope i take,i still believe because i have faith.
And when there is hope and faith, everything beautiful comes in. In flooded grace that fill senses.What you want, you can have, what you don't need, you can't have.
Like today, I am sitting in front of tv, i guess, because i can hear a wobbly, bubbly kid talk.But then there was also sunlight on my face. Where could i possibly be?In a patio with tv? Again, my answer is maybe. My Mama is also with me, kissing me on the forehead, on my cheeks and a sweet' i love you' near my ear. Then she started singing a lullaby prompting me to take my morning nap.
Somewhere from the other side of my eyes, a friend is waving, then comes another and two more others. They are all beautiful, wearing splendid clothes and amazing wings. Oh, how lovely my friends are. I once asked my Mama if we all have wings. She said no.Only angels and fairies. Angels lived in heaven , fairies lived in prairies. Yes, that's how i know who my friends are.
They come to me all at once when all is still and my subconscious called them.
Surprisingly, they only come when Mama's voice is no longer audible, when her chants becomes a soft whisper and eventually fades in a blur.
In my heart, i believe, Mama is much more lovelier just like how i pictured her with her sweet voice. Maybe she has beautiful wings too. Even though she said she doesn't have one.
My fairy-friends flew me to wonderland full of awesome talking flowers, a single tree bearing different fruits, a castle full of books, a huge butterfly that grants wishes and a waterfall that heals.
'Come, Mauri.' One fairy-friend took my hand and lead me to a big stone near the waterfall.
'Take a dip, take it slow' , they helped me as i bend my hips and submerged my head in the water. KkzZzt..KSSSt. It was momentary but the surge of a thousand watts of energy through my body was so powerful that i almost fell. My mind was reinvigorated and my body healed of physical pains. I felt renewed.
I was very happy and hug my fantastic fairy friends. They were very happy for me too. But all was meant to not last , i was told. Then i remember my Mama, how happy she would be if she'd see her like this.
I can now see the beauty in a different light, in a view all my own. And though everything was just temporary, at least i have been given the chance to feel what i wanted to feel for so long. What's like to feel normal.
I am living a fantastic dream. Surreal. Amazing...ah.I'm always at a lost of words to describe the feeling.
Before they took me home, one fairy- friend took my hand, just took it like that and look me in the eye.
I can say she has the most beautiful brown eyes i have ever seen.And she answered, giving back the compliment as if she read my mind. And she really did. Little did I know that she was a sort of queen, laid back, so unassuming .She told me, my moment of truth has come and i can't stay with them for long because finally they decided to give me the gift of sight and heal my pain. They've known me long enough to grant me my wish. They are all awesome, i was so like nailed to the ground astonished for my unsolicited fate then cried and hugged them, thanking them for their beautiful gift and the beautiful memories.
'Ssshhh, your mother is waiting'
I was lying, like many yesterdays of my solitary, bed-ridden life, in a sofa bed with Mama massaging my legs and arms. It was always like that. But this time i feel something bizarre in my surroundings.
I hear sobs, controlled crying, comforting words from voices i couldn't recognize.
"Mama?Is that you? I asked as i stretch my arms for her. There's still little pain in my eyes as I tried to open it.
"Mauri, oh Mauri, thanks so much God. Then I heard Mama laughing and crying at the same time, kissing me, hugging me,like i've been lost from her for a long time.
I also cried, looking at Mama. I can see her...yes. I've been healed. I can now see how beautiful my Mama was. And she has the most beautiful wings of all.
